The Romantic vs. The Player: In Defense of the Other
The Romantic vs. The Player: Another Man's Woman
The Romantic vs. The Player: Walking Dogs
Warning To The Women Who Date My Friends
Read Fine Print Before Dating My Unemployed Ass
Situationship, Isness, And The Relationship Thesaurus
James Cameron on Marriage
Why I Am No Longer Using The 10-Point Rating System
Reply
NAAL says:
December 23, 2011 at 11:59 am
This article makes me very very upset.I'm a woman who has been in love with an emotionally unavailable man and before you write me off as another jaded chick who made the mistake to fall for a "bird" listen to my points of contention:
1. Emotional unavailability is very often not a harmless, "passing phase" brought on by some mysterious source and is easily "snapped" out of- as presented in this article. For many many many men, it is a chronic problem that affects not only their ability to have healthy romantic relationships but also friendships, relationships with their family, their kids, their parents etc. Being a chronically Emotionally unavailable man (EUM) by definition means that you often feel disconnected from your emotions and interpersonal relations on a deep level, entirely.
Its not brought on by some generic or superficial source like "wanting to focus on your career". It's a habitual survival mechanism. One that may be learnt by having painful childhood experiences that were left un-addressed as they grew into adulthood. For instance: my ex, from very young he had to deal with the outright rejection of his mentally ill mother and a cold, emotionally distant father who viewed him as nothing more than a financial liability. The devaluing and fear of emotions taught to these men is only reinforced by a culture that abides by sayings like: "boys don't cry".
The Romantic vs. The Player: Another Man's Woman
The Romantic vs. The Player: Walking Dogs
Warning To The Women Who Date My Friends
Read Fine Print Before Dating My Unemployed Ass
Situationship, Isness, And The Relationship Thesaurus
James Cameron on Marriage
Why I Am No Longer Using The 10-Point Rating System
Reply
NAAL says:
December 23, 2011 at 11:59 am
This article makes me very very upset.I'm a woman who has been in love with an emotionally unavailable man and before you write me off as another jaded chick who made the mistake to fall for a "bird" listen to my points of contention:
1. Emotional unavailability is very often not a harmless, "passing phase" brought on by some mysterious source and is easily "snapped" out of- as presented in this article. For many many many men, it is a chronic problem that affects not only their ability to have healthy romantic relationships but also friendships, relationships with their family, their kids, their parents etc. Being a chronically Emotionally unavailable man (EUM) by definition means that you often feel disconnected from your emotions and interpersonal relations on a deep level, entirely.
Its not brought on by some generic or superficial source like "wanting to focus on your career". It's a habitual survival mechanism. One that may be learnt by having painful childhood experiences that were left un-addressed as they grew into adulthood. For instance: my ex, from very young he had to deal with the outright rejection of his mentally ill mother and a cold, emotionally distant father who viewed him as nothing more than a financial liability. The devaluing and fear of emotions taught to these men is only reinforced by a culture that abides by sayings like: "boys don't cry".